Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
