that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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