You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
