You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize