once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
porn star boner night. come get it.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
