wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
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