Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
