I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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