yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
