I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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