i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
