Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
