"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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