i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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