At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize