He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize
