dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
