Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
vagina is talking i cant
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
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