is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
