"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
