All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
just tell him i said nine months
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
