I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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