im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
