I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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