look no pants
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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