i barfeds in our rink
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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