cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
