i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
