four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
