is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
