i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
