Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
