I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Please don't give away my fajitas
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
