Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
