Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
