I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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