As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
