Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
