why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
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