i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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