No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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