In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Randomize
