i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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