just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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