Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
No subtext here. People are naked.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
