I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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