you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
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