Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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