If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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