we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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