Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Me. At least after what I've been through.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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