i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
