marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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