oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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