I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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