Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
