Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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