Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
this is an emotional support booty call
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
