i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
