got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
