Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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