what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
