Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
