Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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