He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
